The Four Month Sleep Regression

Sigh… the four month sleep regression. It hit our household HARD when my boys were around 3.5 months old. I remember walking into work and sobbing to my coworker, "I CAN'T TEACH! I'M TOO TIRED." I felt delirious. The boys went from being “ok” sleepers to being “awful” sleepers. It seemed like it literally happened overnight. They were waking up more often, fighting bedtime, waking earlier, naps were inconsistent. It felt like all the good work we did prior to the regression just went out the window. 

So what is the 4 month sleep regression and why does it happen to so many babies?

The 4-month sleep regression is when your baby transitions from newborn sleep patterns to adult sleep patterns. They startle more now because they're aware of their surroundings. They have more active and light sleep. Their brains are growing rapidly. This regression typically occurs when your baby is anywhere between 12-17 weeks old. (Why don’t they call it the 3-month sleep regression?) If you do not teach your child independent sleep their sleep might be off indefinitely after the regression.

So how can you get through it? Many parents decide to sleep train at this age because the sleep deprivation is no longer sustainable. They NEED more sleep. If your baby is at least 12 pounds and your pediatrician approves it, you can begin sleep training. With my clients I recommend the following:

Get on a solid feed schedule where your baby is getting full feeds every 3 hours. The importance of FULL feeds is key here. If they can do 3 hour stretches between feeds during the day, they can do that at night as well. Research has shown that babies who snack throughout the day get less milk than babies who take full feeds. If your baby is a distracted eater, go into a dark room, put the sound machine on and take away all distractions. Put your phone away, turn the TV off. Some moms like to wear a necklace during feeds as well which helps your baby focus on something (rubbing the material, watching their fingers wrap around the object, etc) while eating. 

The next thing to help you get through the regression is to check the sleep environment. Make sure you have black out shades and a white noise machine. I recommend placing your baby on a firm mattress with nothing inside the crib. At this age, they should be out of the swaddle because they’re rolling (or will begin to roll any day now). I love The Hatch sound machine. Set it between 40-50% on the TV static sound. Moms ask me all the time, “What sleep sack should I use?” Let me tell you. There is no magic sleep sack that will help your baby sleep better at this age. Many people spend hundreds of dollars trying to find “the magic” one. I will tell you this: Teaching your baby how to fall asleep independently is priceless. It doesn’t matter what they’re wearing. Once they learn the skill, everyone wins. 

Don’t be mad. What I say next might make you cringe. I would drop the paci NOW so your baby learns how to self soothe. You do not want to fall into the dreadful game of “paci-pong” where you’re reinserting the paci all night long. Your baby will not be able to independently put the paci in for MONTHS. Get rid of it now, cold turkey. You will thank me later.

During the sleep regression, many parents decide it’s time to drop the swaddle. You have a few options here. 1. Drop the swaddle and use your sleep training technique to get you through it. 2. Introduce a new sleep sack such as the Merlin weighted sack (temporary "fix") or the arms free sleep sack (baby will be in this for a long time). 3. If your baby is not showing signs of rolling, keep them in their current swaddle and take one arm out. After a few nights, take the other arm out. 

Make sure you have a solid bedtime routine that BEGINS with a feed. We want to put the feed first to ensure your baby is awake for the rest of the routine. We want to end the routine with a bedtime phrase. Babies are a lot more auditory than we give them credit for. Think of a simple bedtime phrase that you and all caretakers will say at bedtime to tell your baby, “It’s bedtime.” Simple bedtime phrases include, “Goodnight. I love you” or “I’ll see you in the morning.” We want to lay the baby down WIDE awake so they put themselves to sleep. It is completely appropriate and normal for babies to roll, talk, whine for 5-15 minutes when you put them in their crib. 

It’s very important to get your baby at the same time every morning to set their internal clock. Personally, my alarm goes off every weekday at 5:10am. Do you think I can sleep in on the weekends? Nope. My body is used to waking up at 5:10am. Babies are no different. We want to start the baby’s day between 6:00-7:00am every day, day after day, to get their body’s internal clock started. It’s also helpful to start the day at the same time every day so you can have a consistent schedule. If your baby is always up at 7:00am, the first nap will always be at 8:15am. That consistency is good for everyone!

During the four month regression, it’s important that we meet their emotional needs during the day. Stimulate them by talking, reading, and singing to them. Make sure they're practicing tummy time and you're engaging with them. Four month olds especially are getting more and more alert. Particularly during the sleep training process, moms can feel anxious. Making sure you’re filling up your baby’s love tank is very important for them AND you.

This regression can be rough but you will get through it! Establish those healthy habits and create that strong sleep foundation. The sooner you do it, the better.